I will never know what it is like to live life with type 1 diabetes. I will never know how fuzzy, off, and out of focus a 400 feels, and I will never know how disorienting and scary a 25 feels. As often as I ask, as often as I have had it explained to me, as often as I have witnessed these, and with as many diabetics as I have spoken with, I will still never truly understand.
I will never understand how scary it was for my 7 year old to think she was losing her eyesight. Or the fear she felt when she would be trapped in a car with no water and no way to quench her voracious thirst, or the constant feeling of having to urinate for weeks prior to her diagnosis. The embarrassment of wetting the bed and thinking it was her instead of knowing there was a medical issue.
This is what I do know. I am the parent of a type 1 diabetic. And while I don’t know what it’s like to live with diabetes, I do know what it’s like to live with a diabetic. And I will use every resource I have available to me to make sure she lives a healthy, productive life. I will, until the end of my days, fight for her, help her, advocate for her, support her, care for her and love her. I will pray for a cure. Wish for a cure. Walk for a cure. Scream for a cure. And work towards a cure. I know how it feels to know your child has a disease that can’t be cured. That can be life threatening. That carries a laundry list of health issues with it. And that doesn’t feel good at all.
I will live the rest of my life with only 4-6 interrupted hours of sleep every night because that is what I feel I need to do. I will care for her and carry the brunt of her disease on my shoulders for as long as she will let me, and when she decides she is ready to take on more responsibility for her disease I will show her and teach her and continue to support her in any and every way I can.
Why? Because she is my daughter. I love her. She will always be my little peanut. And diabetes is a shitty thing to get as a kid. Am I responsible for her diagnosis? No, I am not. But I carry a responsibility for her care. And I take that job seriously.
What ever it takes. For how ever long. And at whatever cost. Until there is a cure, there are Moms, Dads, little brothers and DAD’s. We are a T1 family. We work hard every day to kick diabetes ass. Some days we win. Some days we lose. But everyday we fight until the end. Until there’s a cure.